Holy Moly Mommy

Maybe its a little late, a month later, that I am now really starting to realize that I am a mom...mommy...mother..mama...you get the idea.It just seems so strange, I'm someones Mom. The picture of a mom is so different in my head then what I see in the mirror. Maybe its just that I don't feel that old or maybe its because I still cant get my chocolate chip cookies right, or that as I hate to admit it I still watch Jersey Shore (so so sad I know!) Ive really only, up till a couple days ago thought about the whole mom thing on the surface because really thinking about it is a bit...overwhelming. This title now and forever defines who I am. Ive been quite a few things, a wild child, a love struck teenager, a solider, a wife. Most of them fleeting and not long lasting (except that last one) but now a Mom. The gravity of it gives me butterflies in a good but still nauseating way. Don't get me wrong I am more than excited and you would think that I would be more prepared for this knowledge not only did I have nine months growing her, but we had been trying for over a year even to the point where fertilty drugs were needed, so this was a well planned little baby, but still talk about pressure! The desire to do everything right can drive anyone insane! So I know that I am not unique in this feeling. Everyone has a mother right? So I can't be the first to feel like this. But all this got me thinking about all the different types of mother/ child relationships that are around me. My own, Jeremy's, my friends each has a special sort of bond with their mom, and without a doubt a relationship with your mom has a great deal to do with who you become. So everything I do can have an impact on who Olive grows up to be. Good Golly its all a bit to crazy to think about!...

...But I suppose thinking/stressing about this fact will in the end drive me crazy. And if there is anything I do not want to be is a crazy mother! So alas, I shall take it day by day and try as hard as I can to beat Jeremy out of the fun parent spot, which right now he is winning, but in my defense I spend most of my time nursing and trying to get her to sleep while he gets all the play time. So as soon as she gets a bit bigger the real race to "fun parent" will start (side note: I called fun parent like 5 months ago so its really rightfully mine) I can however see how some people have liters of children because this whole experience is somewhat addicting (although I would prefer to improve on my last birth process) Everyone said over and over "get ready because your life is about to change" Well I had hoped/prayed that it would and it has for the better and I was pretty sure it couldn't get any better then it was...

...Luckily I managed to find the best man to do this with. Jeremy by far is the best Daddy I have ever been around (well on the same par as my daddy that is) He is so good with Olive. He is just so natural with her. Singing, reading, playing, and teaching her any time her eyes are open. I pretty sure he was made to be a daddy. And not only is he great with her hes great to me. Its just a side of him that I would have never known and it makes me love him even more. Geez I sound mushy which is very uncharacteristic of me but oh well just this once is OK...

...at the baby shower we got advice cards from everyone. We got quite a bit about patience, money, sleep, even a joke about Popeye and Brutus, but one of our friends that has 3 little ones wrote "Make time for you guys to be alone together whenever possable, Its so important to have a strong marriage in order to be great parents." Out of everything I took that to heart the most. Jeremy and me took a long road to get to the point in our marriage where we were the strongest and I am so thankful we waited till then to start a family because I Cherish him and us more now than ever. So that's my rambling about parenting so far and I am sure there is so much more to come. As much as I don't want her to get bigger I at the same exact time cannot wait till she does, and that to me makes all the sense in the world...

I had to sneak this goodie in here. She looks just like a little boxer!! I knew she was gonna be a tough girl! No pink for this one, which by the way believe it or not I have managed to keep her away from most pink stuff which is hard because EVERYTHING for little girls is in pink!!

Love you all, post again soon

-J-